Discount Medical Scrubs

Hi everyone.
These are my two application essays for UCF. Can anyone give me some pointers on how i can improve the first one and how I can wrap up the second one? Criticism is greatly appreciated.
The essays are on these topics respectively
-If there has been some obstacle or bump in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances.
-How has your family history, culture, or environment influenced who you are?
Throughout my first two years of high school, I regularly found myself dreaming of the day that I could enter college and finally surround myself with individuals of the same maturity I often boasted of possessing. One can only imagine my surprise and satisfaction in learning that I had been accepted into the College Academy at BC and that I would soon be a real college student at the age of sixteen, news that, to me, could not have come soon enough. My naivety caught up with me however, when in my first winter term, the effort that had so easily earned me B’s and A’s in high school, left me struggling to achieve C’s in college. I watched helplessly as my GPA began to plummet to a level it never plummeted before. Overwhelmed by the fear of failure, my life had become a dark gloom that became more bitter with each new concept my professors indifferently threw at us. What had happened? There was a time when my most significant decision during the day was what I would do after school, not whether or not I should give up on my vision of one day becoming a doctor. Driving to school with the soundtrack of Chopin’s preludes on the radio, I watched with a heavy heart as the students of a nearby medical school marched to their classes, proudly gowned in their blue scrubs. To the reverberations of the piano, I pondered my situation, realizing that I had been a victim of my own arrogance and unknowing.
That following term I reassessed my methods, studying more efficiently and effectively. With the help of my professors, I rediscovered my love of knowledge. Looking back on my transformation, I understand that the college environment has undoubtedly influenced who I am as a person. Constantly surrounded by learning, I have become a student of life; I question everything that surrounds me, never taking anything at face value.

Tags: application essays, arrogance, becoming a doctor, chopin, college academy, dark gloom, discount medical scrubs, dreaming of the day, family history, fear of failure, gpa, heavy heart, history culture, naivety, obstacle, personal life, preludes, professors, reverberations, winter term

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