My mom's a fricking Lysol ad?
Discount Medical Scrubs
SO far, my mom is still stuck in the stone age. Granted she lived in a time where a person is put down by society if his front porch isn't scrubbed by his wife every morning; that it's normal if a husband blames his wife for being infertile, even if frequent visits to the medic left them with an opposite conclusion. Everyone looks the other way if a 38 year old man courts an 11 year old, and if they were engaged, the girl is separated from her age group and expected to take on the behaviour of the other housewives.
That aside, we're in britain now. Dust doens't kill anyone, and cleaning the ceiling with a mop dripping with bleach is something unheard of.
But blaming a 15 year old for 'causing' white blemishes on a WHITE toilet seat and shouting at her for ruining it is RIDICULOUS.
She's been cleaning that damn thing for two days now, with sponges and a bottle of Mr. Clean. Everytime the weekend comes, bam, we have to start making the whole house shine. We've dusted the whole house, vaccuumed, scrubbed and swept for all the weekend.
Of course, she hardly does any of that as mom is now pushing 50 and finds it hard enough for some reason going out and buying food and necessities and doing laundry. We don't eat that much, we're only a litter of 3, and you don't have a job either. The kids come home from school usually at 6, so we're ALWAYS out of the way. She's also prone to dramatic reactions at even a T-shirt; to the extent where I try to use one pair of socks for a whole week, since she always throw a hissy-fit if someone presents her a pair of socks they just wore for a day. Disgusting, I know, but something's you have to keep a person from screaming at you and everybody else afterwards.
Yesterday she gave my little sister HELL for the toilet seat. That it's not completely the same shade of white as it used to be or something, and that means she screwed it up when cleaning and forever ruined it because it's OMG so expensive and only lasted a year.
SO it caused my mother to shoot her horror stories that if she doesn't brush up her act, she will never be able to have a serious boyfriend, or if she does get married, that man will slap her around and ultimately leave her for being a PIG.
Now, I know she's old enough to not take it seriously. But even I was very much affected by it after almost going through this my whole life. I continuosly felt like I was being judged, and I'm fearing that she's trying to break my sister in thinking the same way.
Having gone further out and meeting more people around britain, I now know more about people and how they're more casual about home life than in my family. Even keeping a house literally shining isn't the main reason how a couple stays together. And abusive spouses are not supposed to tolerated; actually.
My main gripe is that my mother is making all of our lives unnecessarily hard and embarassing. She even takes it to public, and she's so self-righteous she more than once insulted people for telling how disgusting or filthy they are. Especially to the mothers of our own friends. She even snaps at people for actual facts, like when I admitted that I didn't have a hymen to start with (I checked when I was young, curious and a virgin) she shouted me down for lying at her despite that I even showed her evidence from articles and medical books.
She even did so to my friend who once recalled her time in Cairo when she was spat at by random people. She had respectfully wore long-sleeves in the middle of june, and looking at her you wouldn't think she behaves like an a.ss. But my mother actually replied, "Well, it's always you english that drink and insult everyone."
It was shocking and I was furious. She was patronizing, impersonal, and treated all my friends by keeping them at an arm's length. Thanks to her I have a twisted love/hate relationship with her (she'd make you cry, and then she'd either laugh at the look on your face or go "Come on, give your mom a hug and run along"), and it's hard getting a job and moving out as everything is expensive and I'm under debt with tuition fee loans. SO I still depend on her and can't move out.
I can try to slowly influence her to see a psychiatrist, or maybe try to be more honest with her by telling she's turning into nothing but a lazy hag that talks like she had tourettes. Right now her younger children are going through the stress to finish high school with good grades so they can get to college, and it's not helping them dragging them down just to serve her. Especially giving them the wrong idea of relationships or marriage.
Edit: Yes, I know this is gonna cause the eyes to bleed reading this long story. Sorry.
The issue with the toilet seat was basically that my sister is being blamed for stripping the white coating off the seat while cleaning it. Apparently the white paint(or whatever it is) is being slowly scraped off by a sponge and watered-down Mr. Clean.
Tags: age group, bleach, blemishes, damn thing, discount medical, doing laundry, frequent visits, front porch, hissy fit, housewives, little sister, medic, mop, mr clean, necessities, pair of socks, sister hell, sponges, stone age, toilet seat





March 22nd, 2011 at 8:57 pm
Wow, you really had alot to get off your chest! That’s ok, my mother was really difficult as well when I was younger.
It’s nigh impossible to change someone who thinks they are right 100% of the time and it would be a waste of effort that is better spent on your own life.
You can put up boundaries to her bad behaviour-you don’t have to put up with it, but it’s harder to do so while still living at home.
Perhaps you could just keep trying for a job, no matter even if it’s working stocking shelves at a supermarket(lol @ own job). Don’t give up hey? Your bad situation won’t last forever.
Ps- If your mother doesn’t like the way the toilet seat is cleaned then she should get off her butt and do it herself. Her whinging over something that done and gone is a waste of time.
March 22nd, 2011 at 8:57 pm
Wow, I wish I was a therapist.
Feel better?
March 22nd, 2011 at 8:57 pm
Sounds like you’re mom needs to smoke a bowl.
March 22nd, 2011 at 8:57 pm
She may be too hard on herself, some men and women are like that.
‘But blaming a 15 year old for ‘causing’ white blemishes on a WHITE toilet seat and shouting at her for ruining it is RIDICULOUS.’ — That’s a hygiene issue, and a hazard for the family. The 15 yr. old should be potty trained and taught to clean up after her.
How is this different from complaining that men leave ‘wetness’ behind on their toilet seats since they have the unique capability of ‘peeing standing up’…
March 22nd, 2011 at 8:57 pm
is verry long histiry
March 22nd, 2011 at 8:57 pm
Listen. There is probably a good reason why your mother is the way she is. Talk to her about her past sometime and I bet you’ll find out why. And yeah, encourage her subtly to find someone to talk to about all this stuff.
In the mean time, show some respect and don’t take YOUR problems public like she does. Learn to deal with it. Soon you’ll be able to move out.
March 22nd, 2011 at 8:57 pm
I think some people are just miserable fuckers who will never change, sounds like your Mother is one of them. Totally feel for you having to deal with that.
If it’s at all possible, I’d get whatever jobs you can handle and get the hell out of there. That’s a pretty toxic and negative place to be. Yikes.
If she’d go to counseling that’s awesome, but I wouldn’t be shocked if she just flat out refuses because she’s actually happy with herself and how her life is. Some people are just twisted like that, unfortunately.
Wish I had some decent advice, but seriously, some people are just beyond reality and there’s nothing you can do besides changing your own thoughts and deciding the person just will *not* affect you, and putting as much emotional distance between yourself and them as you can.
Best luck!